After Months of Neglecting my Blog for MailChimp….

I just had a patient come in while on shift a few days ago. The momma had a beautiful baby girl about week ago here at the clinic.  Her and her husband came in due to a concern with their infant. Their baby was ok and their concern turned out to be a completely normal condition, they were just unsure of what was happening.

The reason this oh-so-short encounter with a husband and wife and their new daughter was so significant in my day today is because of the state that they were in. This husband and wife were brought in by the city’s transportation set up by government housing because that is where they are living. I learned that this family has next to no clothing, no money and no home.

What stood out to me the most was the state of mom. It was clear she had little to no hope. Her husband held the baby while she sat on a seat alone, slumped down and very unresponsive. After gathering some food to offer her, she was full after only a couple of bites. She wouldn’t drink the milk I gave her, even after pleading with her to have some for nourishment.

These kinds of situations are what break my heart. I felt eager to give this family a few baby blankets and a baby outfit I had brought with me from home (thanks to wonderful family and friends!) and to give her any kind of snacks with protein I had in with me. But, the reality is I have nothing, material wise, to truly help this family. A handout to this family is not what would build back the hope that needs to be instilled to rise out of a situation of no home, clothing, and not enough food. And so, I give them my smile, and I plead on her behalf in prayer for God to lift them out of the suck that life can bring sometimes.

How cute are those little toes?!

I’m so thankful for this encounter today to remember that life can be hard, it can. But, often the most effective way to help us out of what is hard in our lives is to focus on someone else’s hard for a bit.

Sometimes, though, what we feel (and what I am sensing with this new mom) is we have: Nothing. Left. To. Give. And, to whatever degree, I can empathize with what this momma feels. Sometimes, it’s too much. It is just too much. We find ourselves in a place so overwhelming we have nothing left to give and that is when we cry out to God. So, right now I am praying for this family and ask that you will too. I am asking for deliverance from poverty. I am asking for hope. I am asking that Jesus will reveal Himself in a very, very tangible way to them and He will bring this momma out of her loss of hope and into deliverance and joy. Lord, I plead all of these requests right now on behalf of this woman. We need you.

Random photo, but my favorite section in the market 🙂

Beauty. Nothing to do with glamour.

Hours upon hours in discomfort.  Anticipation.

Sweat, blood, tears, fear, joy. She is beautiful.

Exhausted. She is beautiful.

The most intimate and fragile parts of her fully exposed, completely vulnerable.  Beautiful.

Entrusting unfamiliar hands to care for the life of her unseen but fully known child. She is beautiful.

Perseverance produced by love.  Full surrender.  

The cry of life.  Beautiful.  

Beautiful has nothing to do with glamour.  Beautiful is always around. What is beautiful in your life today?

Hinay-Hinay

My class and I have finished two months of language school here in Davao!

Extravagant gratitude is what my heart feels for my teachers I have had these past two months. In struggling through learning words I’d never heard in my life and new sentence structures that made me dizzy, my teachers would say to me in the kindest and most patient voice, “hinay-hinay”. Hinay-hinay means slowly-slowly. They were very aware of the slow process that learning a new language is. In choosing to accept and walk slowly in this new learning curve I found I could be far less critical of myself. This slowing reminded me of the importance of accepting the process in all aspects of life.

I am a woman of checklists. I love being productive and nothing makes me feel more productive than having a long to-do list and getting to check each and every task off of it (I am my mothers daughter!). Like all strengths, this is also my weakness. When days don’t go the way I would have liked and my checklist doesn’t get finished I am quick to feel like my day was basically a waste. In considering why these lists can make me feel so good or so bad, I realize it is because sometimes my checklist is my evaluation of how well I’m doing in life. As if how many things I can accomplish in a day will save the world.

I’ve been reminded through hinay-hinay the lifelong lesson of remembering to slow down and embrace the moment. Hinay-hinay has reminded me to take a deep breath and leave time to acknowledge things I give my energy to that may be a distraction from what is most important. Sometimes those distractions need to be thrown out and life needs to get a bit simpler.

Hinay-hinay is the kind of life I want to live. A life full of moments I am fully present in because I slowed down enough to truly embrace them. But, in order to do that sometimes it means I choose to take a step back and accept that the pace of life fluctuates from day to day.

My classmates and I

You can’t read our sign but it says “Last day of Language school”!! 🙂

These girls are getting nearer and dearer to my heart each day.

Commuting to school each day included meeting lots of cutie pies on the jeepney!

As I am walking out the learning process of slowing down and embracing each moment I will be in the perfect place to do it! I will be spending the month of November in the Bukid (Mountains/Rural Area) doing a small childbirth demographic and building relationships with the people I meet. I will be using this time in a peaceful atmosphere to listen to what God is doing here in the Philippines. I am expecting Him to speak to me through the beauty and quiet of the mountains.

I am really looking forward to speaking to the women in the villages about their childbirth experiences. Questions in our survey will include, how many children have you had, where did you deliver your babies, did you have any complications, did you have the option of having a birth attendant or going to a clinic or hospital etc.? In talking with the women about their experiences we will learn an immense amount of what it looks like to have children in rural areas as well as what people in rural areas need. I hope that through our conversations about childbirth our hearts will open in a way that will allow us to truly get to know these women. To know who they are, what fears or victories they have in life and what gives their life purpose.

 

After my time in the Bukid I will be back in the city and starting up working more clinic shifts and classwork assignments!

A mix of my classmates and language school teachers on a day we went to the beach together.

Beginnings in the Birth Room

Being in the clinic has been inspiring and encouraging! While I am in language school I spend one shift in the clinic each weekend. There are three shifts, day shift from 6am-2pm, swing shift, 2pm-10pm and night shift, 10pm-6am. So far I have experienced each of these shifts. Last weekend I observed four births during my shift. There were twenty babies born in that weekend alone that week!  I have helped with baby checks and am learning to do the sterilizing of instruments, restocking equipment, finding fetal heart rates, give newborn baby baths and any and everything else you can think of that comes with birth!

Something I enjoy most right now is watching the way each midwife works. I am especially impressed with the Filipina Supervisors who have delivered countless babies in the clinic. I admire the authority and strength they have while working, especially in critical times. There is such a confidence and knowledge and I aspire to be that kind of midwife.

Being able to talk with and offer small acts of comfort and love to the mothers in labor has been such a joy for me. There is nothing I hope for more than for each mother in labor to be protected, cared for and respected in every way. I am soaking up all that I can and preparing myself for learning to be intuitive, intellectual and exceptionally thoughtful in each birth I encounter.

Watched this little boys birth and cut his umbilical chord.

Baby’s first bath. ❤

All Clean!

The view as you enter the Birth Room.

These are what the mammas and their bana (husband) or bantay (caretaker) will wear when they enter the birth room.

Please don’t wear your outside shoes.

The autoclave where we sterilize the instruments.

The restroom (CR, comfort room) the mammas use while in labor.

A bed where the mothers deliver their beautiful babes!

One of the lovely and beautiful Filipino Midwives!

How to: Make Coconut Oil From Scratch

I absolutely and positively always have and always will love coconuts! It amazes me the endless uses a coconut has. Coconut juice, coconut milk, coconut oil, coconut flower, the list goes on and on! Not to mention all craft projects you can do with the shells. Today I made coconut oil from scratch! Here is how to do it.

Step 1: Choose a mature coconut from the palengke (market) or grocery storeJ. (To make a good amount of oil it takes maybe four or five coconuts)

Step 2: Break open the coconut with a machete and drink the coconut juice that pours out. (So yum!)

Step 3: Using a tool that has a rigid sharp edge, scrape the coconut meat into a bowl.

Step 4: Add 1cup of water to the shaved coconut meat. Then, using your hands squeeze the meat until the milk drains out. (I was amazed at how much milk came from the meat and how easy it was!)

Step 5: Strain the milk from the coconut shreds.

Step 6: Simply boil the milk you’ve squeezed from your coconut meat until it has an oil consistency. Be sure to stir the milk consistently, it takes about an hour or so.

Step 7: Enjoy the hundreds of ways you can use coconut oil and how amazing it smells!

My favorite ways coconut oil can be used:

• In your hair to minimize frizz or to give it an intense moisture therapy
• On your skin as a natural lotion
• As a substitute for cooking oil or butter (I use coconut oil instead of butter when frying eggs and plantains and egg plant)
• On sunburn or any kind of burn
• Rub on joints and/or ingest to help with rheumatoid arthritis
• As a natural chap stick
• Mix with apple cider vinegar as a natural way to treat lice
• Rub inside your nose to help prevent allergy symptoms
• Mix with coffee grounds and/or brown sugar to make an absolutely luxurious body scrub
• Mix a tablespoon of chia seeds with coconut oil for a energy boost snack
• In your tea to treat a sore throat
• Mommas, rub it on your belly to prevent stretch marks during pregnancy

I’ve wanted to learn how to make coconut oil for a while, so today was definitely exciting! It was so fun laughing with and learning from my Filipino friends as we made the oil.  The people here are so eager to help and teach.  They are so generous and kind. Let me know if you try to make it and/or your other uses for coconut oil!

Intentionally Not Eating

I am attending language school Monday to Friday now and I have been fasting breakfast each morning. When I first did it I didn’t really have a specific reason I was fasting, mostly to start being more mindful and intentional in prayer. I had specific prayer requests I wanted to focus on. But, also I have been asking the Lord to lead my prayers. I have been practicing coming to Him in silence, waiting, then praying for what I feel lead to pray for. My prayers brought me to a need that I didn’t intentionally start my fasting for.

As I was fasting my first day in school we had a morning break for marienda and so I went off to be alone (and not watch everyone eat!). As I started praying I was lead to pray for children who go to school every day hungry. When I am having a busy day and running from place to place, not eating breakfast is easy for me. But to wake up early and sit in a classroom and tell my brain to learn the information being given to me, I notice my hunger more.  Praying for children around the world who have to go to school hungry consistently is changing me.

Fasting breakfast and devoting that time to praying for children around the world going to school hungry has been so good for me. It is amazing how perspective can change the way you feel about your own life. My heart breaks for children going hungry and I think that it should break everyone’s heart. It’s not the way God has intended those little children to live. It’s not ok.

“Whatever you do unto the least of these, you do unto me” (Matt. 25:40). I encourage you to give to those who are hungry today if you have an opportunity. I encourage you to look for an opportunity to give. Something I have learned through seeing overwhelming amounts of poverty throughout this world is that even though the need may seem too much to make a difference, it is not our job as one person to take care of every need. Our job is to take care of the need that is set in front of us, the need that our heart feels called to, the need that makes us feel passionate or excited to be a part of.  Great or small, the act of giving not only makes a change in that moment, but there is a ripple effect. The act of giving not only meets a tangible need, but has a spiritual encouragement attached whether we have the privilege of seeing that first hand or not. I believe that if each of us consistently and intentionally gives in moments we meet an opportunity it will add up to something greater than we could imagine. I also believe that it only works when we all contribute, though. Give in a small way today; it has a greater and stronger effect than you may realize.

Utang, Ulaw and Pakikisama

Since arriving almost two weeks ago I have dipped my toes into the pool of learning the culture!  In the Philippines there are three traits that keep everything together in their culture. Utang, which is debt, Ulaw, which is shame and Pakikisama, peace and togetherness/interdependence.

Utang: Debt.  In the communities here debt to one another is vital. If someone were to have a need, the community will pool together and help this person. An example of this that happens often is the need for money when your child is sick and in the hospital. The community will work together to financially help this person because they know that eventually their own child will probably get sick and they will need the favor returned.

Ulaw: Shame. It is extremely important to never shame someone. People will never disagree with a person even in the case of the person truly being wrong because it would be shaming them to point out their fault. They hate confrontation because confronting a person means you are pointing out something that will shame them. If a person has not paid their rent, the landlord will not confront them about it because that would bring the renter shame. Sometimes, a landlord will wait up to two years without asking for the money. Finally, they will have a person sent as their go-between to solve the problem, but will never confront the person directly. Another act of not shaming another person is not to say no.  If you ask something of someone and their answer is “no” they will not say that out loud. They do not want to shame you by saying no, so they will say maybe or not respond, but never tell a person “no”.  Unfortunately, this trait of always having to hold composure and never confronting another person or speaking your mind leads to pent up frustration.  It is very common here to have outbreaks of violence because of constantly constraining yourself and not facing problems head on.

Pakikisama: Interdependence. In the Philippines independence is not valued the way we value it in the States. Within their communities it is all about the collective. Often you sacrifice what is good for you as an individual for what is best for everyone.

Beginning to learn and understand Filipino culture has been mind opening and very helpful.  My next step in learning about the people here and being able to relate to them is language school. I will be in full time language school for two months. I’ll take the jeepney (which is their version of a bus) to and from school. My commute is an hour each way, so I plan to get some serious midwifery book reading done!

Speaking the language of the women I will be caring for will help me to serve and love them throughout pregnancy and labor in a much better dynamic than using a translator. I’m a little nervous about the fatigue that will come with long hours of language school and training my brain in a way it has never been worked. But, I am so grateful for this opportunity of focusing 100% on language for these next two months so that I can start talking to the people here and know them personally. I want to truly know my patients and for them to know me. I look forward to hearing their stories, their fears and hopes for labor. I want to be able to encourage and uplift them. I cannot wait to be able to tell these beautiful mothers with such genuine smiles how happy I am to be with them and care for them in this time of their lives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cambodia and Choosing Midwifery

 

While in Cambodia in January and February of 2014 working with a medical team I met two boys who changed my life.  I sent this story to friends and family last year following this event and so will copy and paste it to share how my heart found Midwifery.

“The past few days God has used me to be a part of a miracle. Minutes before our team was about to leave a village we had been staying at for three days a young mother came up to us with a baby boy and asked us to pray a blessing over him. Looking at the boy it was clear he was dangerously malnourished. His umbilical chord was infected. The mom had some herb or cow dung on the infection because that is what midwives or elders in these villages tend to do. Immediately, we asked this mother if we could intervene and help him. As we started to take care of him we found out he had a twin brother as well. We asked to see him too. They were two weeks old and had barely eaten because the mother did not know how to breastfeed and thought that she did not have milk. I taught her to breastfeed and how to secrete milk from her breasts through massage. One boy was severely more malnourished than the other. He was the one with the infection as well. We cleaned his infection and I held him skin to skin and we wrapped him up to me to fight hypothermia. Even his head was cold and he was too weak to eat. We tried secreting a couple of drops of milk into his mouth but his body could not handle it and he stopped breathing. We had a translator with us who is a pediatrics student in a hospital here in Phnom Penh and he began resuscitate the baby boy. It was a very intense and scary approx. three minutes. He began to breathe again. This little boy was then placed in my hands and the mother had his twin brother. We immediately left for the hospital.

I walked with this infant next to the mother through their village, down to the river where we climbed into a canoe that carried us across the river. We then walked up to our van and drove two hours to the house we were staying at. After arriving at the house the little boy stopped breathing again, he was resuscitated again. We had to drive to the hospital in Phnom Penh that was 12 hours from where we were staying. So, one of my leaders, Friedhelm, and I came on the next bus to Phnom Penh. I switched off holding each boy during the twelve-hour bus ride as the mother breastfed and rested. The father came as well. One of the boys started suckling and we were so excited! The weaker brother was not strong enough to eat though and could only take a couple drops about every thirty minutes.

We finally made it to the pediatrics hospital the next morning and when they were registering the babies to be administered the mother said that the boys did not have names yet and she asked me to name them. I was so shocked and honored. I had two names come to mind right away and chose them. Daniel and Mati. Daniel was the name of the weaker brother and Mati for the other. I later looked up what they mean. Mati means “gift of God”. Mati made the cutest faces on the bus and is truly such a gift and brought so much joy. Daniel means “God is my judge”. I could see in Daniels face the whole bus ride the pain and how hard he was fighting to live. I have been thinking so much about how God is the judge over his life, He has judged life over Him and the enemy cannot change that.

The boys are safe and sound in the hospital now and I came to see them again this afternoon. They both are significantly healthier. They are both on I.V.’s. Now Daniel can suckle as well! So, they are both breastfeeding and we brought the mother some clothes for her and the babies. We also brought hats, socks, blankets, diapers and wipes for the babies as well as food and soymilk and vitamins for the mother.

I can’t imagine what I will feel like buying baby items when I’m pregnant and having a child of my own because I was in heaven baby shopping for Daniel and Mati!

I am so privileged and honored that God trusted me with these boys in the most critical time of their lives. God has spoken to me about my future and my truest passions through this journey with Daniel and Mati.”

 

It was through this experience that my heart found midwifery.  It was like every cell in my body felt fulfilled and content in those hours with Daniel and Mati.  My life and perspective on the reason I am on this earth changed through finding such fulfillment.  I know I am designed to bring comfort, healing and care to women in their vulnerability while pregnant, going through labor and walking out motherhood.

This is my dream and my goal: to provide exceptional healthcare to mothers and their infants while empowering women through education so that lives are saved and hearts are healed.